Unbridled Passion

Passion is what lead you here. Passion for your spouse, passion to make a difference, passion to rear solid kids. Passion is a beautiful gift from God, but it can also break you if it is unbridled - let me explain.

Passion can lead to destruction when it is not under the direct authority of God. If God bestows a gift upon us as His children, it must be submitted to Him before we can channel it’s purpose.

Let’s look at it this way. When Trevor and I met, there was a cosmic explosion as two young people came together in a way that I only describe as magnetism. We were deeply enamored with one another from the get go. Both still teenagers, this adoration for each other made us fall quickly and deeply. We had a beautiful relationship. As you spend time with someone, growing together as you date, you begin to peel back layers and it is very revealing and also terrifying. How you unpack those parts of one another, that will inevitably be revealed, it can either make or break you.

Trevor and I are both possess the extreme desire to have a voice. We did not begin our relationship with God at the forefront. We basically worshipped each other before God and that is where the destructive tendencies fall into place. We did not have a Godly fortress around our relationship which allowed for outside forces to penetrate the walls of your passion palace we had been living in. Those outside forces land right in the middle of your palace together and it can cause mayhem. When things got tough in the world around our relationship, we did not communicate to one another in love, we communicated using our own insecurities and passion to fuel our “side of the story”.

When you submit your passion for one another to God, you learn that communication should be enlaced with the language of Christ, even in heated discussions. If I am deeply intimate with God, I know WHO I am, I do not have insecurities to direct at my husband. I take those insecurities up with God rather than making Trevor accountible for my insecurities. When I make Trevor the brunt or worse, the “solver” to my insecurities, I am setting him up for failure. He cannot possibly solve my insecurities, nor can I hold him responsible for why they are there in the first place. This drastically changes how I communicate with Trevor when we disagree or when their is tension.

This has taken YEARS to master. Don’t let that deter you, let that show you that we work at this every day. I work on submitting my passion for Trevor to God EVERY SINGLE DAY. I have colossal passion for Trevor, but every time I try to make him the “god” or the “responsible party” to my well-being, it ends in a mess.

As a parent, we can often find ourselves doing this to our kids as well. I have colossal passion for them as well, but this comes with the challenge. If I do not submit my passion to God for my kids, I will inadvertently use my kids or hold my kids accountable for satisfying parts of myself or my worth. YIKES, could that sound familiar to you? Its not something we want to admit or talk about, but I see it.

The dad that is screaming on the sidelines of the baseball game instead of telling his kid to get back, dust off his pants and try again. The mom that has over-committed her daughter to too many activities so that her daughter is more “popular” or “cool”.

When we curate our social media, I do this too, is this not a cry out to the universe to say, “We have it all together, look how great we are?….” Are we using our kids as tools in this sick need of acceptance. Again, I preaching to myself here.

We can’t let our kids define us. They are just children. People with under-developed brains trying to learn constantly from every situation, making patterns of human behavior. What sort of patterns are we creating in them? Children need a few things, shelter, food, water, play and a sense of belonging. I think we get messed up on that last one. Kids just want to be loved, so just love on them. Show them God’s love for them. When we push them out into the world to be involved, popular, athletic, while these can be used for good, we are teaching them to rely on outward forces for validation.

When a father was raised by football-worth, it becomes his identity. So he turns around and pushes that upon his kids. Your kids' identity is not wrapped up in a field, an action or an achievement. When Jesus looks down on your child he sees one thing, “Mine”.

Our role as parents is to steward their growth, foster it - not control it. We have so much passion for these people we are rearing but we also have to remember, they belong to Jesus. We should insert them into situations that allow spiritual growth, grit and perseverance. Activities, sports and achievements are merely tools to accomplish this. Your child will eventually discover their own passions in life. We must model submitted passion so that they do not find their identity in anything other than Christ. The moment they get an injury that prevents them from moving forward in a sport can be catstrophic. A child that has learned to submit their passion to God and to elevate Him above the sport or activity, does not fall into defeat. They know, that they were living out a season and their passions can be reinvented and repurposed for Gods glory.

Parents, Spouses, let's work on this one together!